Who is Jack Schitt?

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Postby A.M.Zinthos! » Mon Feb 02, 2009 11:53 am

Who is Jack Schitt?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says,"You don't know Jack Snitt!" Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had on son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Hollie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objection, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced, Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her pervious name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nreous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsquently married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

BAull Schitt, the prodigal son, left hone to tour the world. He recently returned home with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Crock O. Schitt
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