37 reasons why girls dump boys

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Postby RoboCop » Sun May 16, 2010 11:44 am

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1. “He wore sunglasses indoors.”

2. “He cracked jokes all the time. I find funny guys really attractive at first, but the novelty always seems to wear off very quickly. What’s sexy at first can soon get quite irritating.”

3. “We never had an argument, in four years of dating. You might think that’s a good thing, but in the end I realised that it was because I couldn’t be bothered to disagree with him. It was easier to let him think that I agreed, because I just couldn’t be bothered.”

4. “He kept tickling me. Fun the first time, really annoying the 30th time – and for some reason he thought I’d find it a turn-on.”

5. “He let me make all the decisions. I like a guy to be accommodating to some extent, but I want him to take control sometimes. I don’t always want to be the one who decides what film we’re going to see.”

6. “He got on better with my mum than I did. He’d phone her for a random chat, which I found really creepy.”

7. “He always insisted on picking up the bill on dates. It’s nice to be treated, and it’s obviously great when a bloke can pay his way, but it felt like he was trying to buy me. I earn money too and I’d like the chance to show it.”

8. “He talked dirty. He thought it was sexy but I was freaked out by it.”

9. “I farted during a date. He didn’t say anything but I was so humiliated I never wanted to see him again.”

10. “We bumped into his ex girlfriend in town one day, and he started chatting to her without introducing us. It was awesomely rude and I never forgave him for it.”

11. “He wore more perfume than I did.”

12. “He’d introduce me to people as ‘my friend’. When a guy does that, you have to dump him ‘cause you know you’re on borrowed time. I dumped him so he couldn’t dump me first.”

13. “He never held my hand in public.”

14. “He constantly held my hand in public and it got irritating, especially when he was sweaty.”

15. “He snored in bed and he’d get really angry when I tried to turn him over, because it ‘woke him up’. Haha! I’d been lying awake for hours listening to his noise! I’ve now resolved to dump any man as soon as I know he’s a snorer.”

16. “He cried too easily. I liked that he was sensitive, but his crying made me uncomfortable. I’m slightly ashamed to say it but I want a man who’s strong and will comfort me when things happen, not a man who’ll join in with the crying.”

17. “He was too well-endowed.”

18. “He always put his tongue right into my mouth when we kissed, and it took all the enjoyment out of snogging. He was a gorgeous man and he’d had plenty of girlfriends, so I have no idea how he got to 30 years old without being taught to kiss better. It’s a total deal-breaker, and it was a shame because I really fancied him.”

19. “He kept me waiting for days for phone calls. He said he wanted to ‘take things slowly’ because he’d been hurt in the past, but it just frustrated the life out of me. It felt like he was playing hard to get, and that’s incredibly irritating. If a guy likes me I want him to ring me constantly!”

20. “He rang me constantly and it got on my nerves.”

21. “He spent loads of money on designer labels. I liked that he took so much care over his appearance, but he never had any money left to spend on me.”

22. “He kept telling me how ‘fit’ I was. That’s nice, but I wanted him to say that I was clever and funny, or that I had nice knees or something. ‘You’re fit, you’re gorgeous’ is just a bit obvious… also it sounded a bit common.”

23. “He couldn’t pronounce my surname properly.”

24. “He made fun of me all the time. He seemed to think it was flirtatious to insult my nose.”

25. “He’d spent a year travelling round the world and he talked about it quite a lot. I felt totally dull by comparison. Plus I was jealous of him.”

26. “He had very unruly body hair. You know, ‘down there’. I didn’t have the guts to ask him to trim it.”

27. "He was very mean about his ex girlfriend. He’d call her a slut and all sorts. He’d dated her for more than a year. So if she’s a slut, what am I?”

28. “He was quite picky with his food. I felt so self-conscious when we ate together because I’d always want to eat more than him, and it made me feel like a right pig.”

29. “He never shaved properly, and my chin was developing a chronic rash.”

30. “He was quite shy and had real trouble making eye contact. I need a man who’ll gaze at my face.”

31. “He told me off for talking too much. I only talked too much because I felt so alive and enthusiastic in his company – I wasn’t like that with other people. But he moaned about it so I dumped him.”

32. “We spent every evening snuggled on the sofa watching telly. He thought we had the perfect relationship but I was bored out of my mind. At the beginning I’d had to chase him a bit, and I’d found that very exciting. Knowing that you’re going to spend every evening on the sofa isn’t so exciting.”

33. “After a year of living together he’d still never done a load of washing voluntarily.”

34. “I heard that my ex was getting married and I wished it was me who was marrying him. So I dumped the guy I’d left my ex for.”

35. “When I’m in love with a guy I’m fantastically vain, but with my ex I stopped caring what I looked like. As soon as I realised that, I had to get out of the relationship.”

36. “He cooked lots of curries and I was putting on weight.”

37. “He told me he loved me on our second date. Alarm bells…”
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Postby RollingEye » Sun May 16, 2010 11:18 pm

Alternative title: Becoming a misogynist in 37 easy steps.
Oh crap, is it coward-killing time already?
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Disclaimer: The views presented by this Rolly are not always serious. Use common sense/brain when reading.
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