I Hate Running.

[Stormcaller3801]

Something a bit lighter for a rant.

I hate running. And walking. In fact anything that involves simply moving from place to place. Not in real life, but in TF2. In real life, I have no problem with it, but in TF2, I loathe it. Do you want to know why? Because it turns me into a bullet magnet.

At first I thought it was just one thing, or another thing. But then I started to put it all together and I realized that it was all connected, by movement. Pure movement. If I'm shooting someone, it's not at issue. If I'm healing someone, it's to be expected. No, it's when I'm just moving that people seem inexplicably drawn to shoot me over anyone else.

For instance, spycrabbing. It doesn't matter what server I'm on or what people are on, it's always the same. There can be twenty-four people playing, blasting each other hell for leather, and I'll decide it's time to go Spycrab. I inform my team of this, and when they don't object, it's on. And off I go. And it always ends up the same way. It doesn't matter if we're all goofing around, it doesn't matter if there's eleven other people spraying bullets to the dulcet tones of GLaDOS singing, there's always someone who will run up, stare at me as if they've never seen a Spycrab before, and then start hitting me like I'm filled with delicious candy. There can be explosions, arrows flying overhead, the screams of people dying in a fire right next to me, they'll worry about killing a Spycrab. And for some reason it's almost always a Scout with a Bat. Once, both teams went Spycrab. I still get beat up with a baseball bat.

Or my Race for the Pennant runs. I've been working hard for those 25km. My W finger has ached from running two and a half kilometers at a time in Nucleus. But I still die. Once we were all fooling around in Dustbowl, on the first stage. I'm running laps around the map, and as I get close to BLU spawn, a Sniper hits me with Jarate. No harm, no foul- screen's a bit off, but no big deal right? I double jump across the chasm, and... THWACK! Pinned through the head to the shack. Profuse apologies follow; it was a wild shot, they were aiming at a bullseye sprayed on the shack door. Just pulled back too long. No big deal. We move on to stage 2, and again, I'm running my laps. Round the corner, the one that's the great big silo, and I'm heading for the ladder up to the roof of that metal building. THWACK! Same person, trying to get an achievement for shooting Engie buildings or something. Arrow through the head, pinning me to the silo. Days later, I'm running Nucleus. There's a small group of us working on Scout achievements. Inevitably, there's a Sniper. We've been at it for a good half hour to an hour, and I'm running my laps. There's a Scout who's trying to time his Sandman taunt to catch me as I run past. Never works, but he keeps at it. I switch up my route, run upstairs into the battlements... THWACK! Sniper, apologizing profusely. Just a reflex action. Headshot, pinned me to the wall.

Playing Engie, every time I run back to Spawn to set up that Teleporter Entrance I forgot, my stuff gets sapped. Or if I successfully get the Entrance up and I'm heading somewhere else, it gets sapped as soon as it's up. As a Demoman, Soldier, or Heavy, I'll get backstabbed running from spawn. There can be a Pyro sweeping the area just behind me, I'll get backstabbed. There can be a Medic healing me, I'll get backstabbed. I've purposefully run to areas of the map where there's no fighting going on with the intent to swing around and attack from the flank. Backstabbed.

If I stand still, nothing happens to me. If I'm firing, hey, fine, I can accept I'll get shot. Do unto others and all that. But running? No, I loathe running.

[Sekh765]

[MaskedJackal]

Many players actually leave me alone when I spycrab. It's hilarious. I even capped a point once.

[Stormcaller3801]

[Sekh765]